Blaming the victim is never the answer
A man perished in flames other day. Set on fire by someone else. Well, it was his fault wasn't it? He shouldn't have been wearing flammable clothing if he didn't want to get burnt and he shouldn’t have been drinking alcohol. Frankly, he might as well have had a huge sign above his head saying, “Set me on fire”. Why should we blame the person who started the fire? It was obviously the man’s fault not the person who lit the match.
Do I sound stupid, ridiculous or unreasonable? Well then why doesn't it sound that absurd when we talk like that about rape? Let’s be very clear: if a girl goes out wearing provocative clothing then she is not ‘asking for it’. No one goes out to the shops and thinks about what would be the best outfit to get raped in. Neither is it her fault if she has had a bit to drink. Just because she has decided to have a drink, and as a result may be in a more vulnerable position, it is still the rapist’s fault for taking advantage of her. She was not asking for it; just as the man who got burnt was not asking to be set on fire by how much he drank or what clothing he was wearing.
It’s disgraceful that society still tolerates men and women pointing the finger at rape victims. It’s outrageous that people say that a woman was asking for it because she happened to be wearing a short skirt on a night out. Maybe she was attempting to live up to the media’s appalling expectations of how women should dress; maybe it made her feel confident; maybe she just saw it, liked it and bought it.
Take a moment to think how traumatised someone must be after a horrific experience such as rape. How must they feel? A large majority of victims will never be the same again, never be able to fully put their trust in others. Now imagine someone coming up to that person and telling them that it’s entirely their fault. That this upsetting experience was bound to happen because they were sending off provocative messages by wearing ‘that dress’. The emotional and psychological scarring of saying such things can have such a detrimental effect on their mental health that its virtually another form of assault.
The media is most certainly not helping this matter. The popularity of controversial hit "Blurred Lines" is a case in point. The song talks about how there are blurred lines between sex and consent. There is no such thing: no means no. Read it and believe it. No doesn't mean ‘persuade me’ or, ‘get me drunk enough and I won't be able to have a say’. The song then goes on to say, "I know you want it,” this lyric wrongly suggests that every girl gives their consent to sex and when they object they are lying as all girls secretly, “want it”. This song was number one in the charts for several weeks and not nearly enough action was taken against it. Songs like these are giving rapists a clear conscience; the media is implying that it was okay to do what they did because deep down, “she really wanted it”. People wonder why rape culture is such a big issue at the moment. We make the problem worse by buying these songs and listening to their corrupting lyrics.
Sadly, it’s not just Robin Thicke. Daniel O’Reilly, more commonly known as Dapper Laughs, was briefly considered a “comedian”; his song reached number fifteen in the charts; he had his own show and reached 79 million views on his Vines. He was someone who was in the media for a long time and was hugely popular; it took a year for people to actually speak out and succeed in having his show pulled from mainstream TV.
Do you want to be part of a society that promotes rape and tells rapists that their actions are okay? I know I don’t. It’s time to do something about it.
Emma Fahy, Year 13
Image - India Bonnet, Year 12
Do I sound stupid, ridiculous or unreasonable? Well then why doesn't it sound that absurd when we talk like that about rape? Let’s be very clear: if a girl goes out wearing provocative clothing then she is not ‘asking for it’. No one goes out to the shops and thinks about what would be the best outfit to get raped in. Neither is it her fault if she has had a bit to drink. Just because she has decided to have a drink, and as a result may be in a more vulnerable position, it is still the rapist’s fault for taking advantage of her. She was not asking for it; just as the man who got burnt was not asking to be set on fire by how much he drank or what clothing he was wearing.
It’s disgraceful that society still tolerates men and women pointing the finger at rape victims. It’s outrageous that people say that a woman was asking for it because she happened to be wearing a short skirt on a night out. Maybe she was attempting to live up to the media’s appalling expectations of how women should dress; maybe it made her feel confident; maybe she just saw it, liked it and bought it.
Take a moment to think how traumatised someone must be after a horrific experience such as rape. How must they feel? A large majority of victims will never be the same again, never be able to fully put their trust in others. Now imagine someone coming up to that person and telling them that it’s entirely their fault. That this upsetting experience was bound to happen because they were sending off provocative messages by wearing ‘that dress’. The emotional and psychological scarring of saying such things can have such a detrimental effect on their mental health that its virtually another form of assault.
The media is most certainly not helping this matter. The popularity of controversial hit "Blurred Lines" is a case in point. The song talks about how there are blurred lines between sex and consent. There is no such thing: no means no. Read it and believe it. No doesn't mean ‘persuade me’ or, ‘get me drunk enough and I won't be able to have a say’. The song then goes on to say, "I know you want it,” this lyric wrongly suggests that every girl gives their consent to sex and when they object they are lying as all girls secretly, “want it”. This song was number one in the charts for several weeks and not nearly enough action was taken against it. Songs like these are giving rapists a clear conscience; the media is implying that it was okay to do what they did because deep down, “she really wanted it”. People wonder why rape culture is such a big issue at the moment. We make the problem worse by buying these songs and listening to their corrupting lyrics.
Sadly, it’s not just Robin Thicke. Daniel O’Reilly, more commonly known as Dapper Laughs, was briefly considered a “comedian”; his song reached number fifteen in the charts; he had his own show and reached 79 million views on his Vines. He was someone who was in the media for a long time and was hugely popular; it took a year for people to actually speak out and succeed in having his show pulled from mainstream TV.
Do you want to be part of a society that promotes rape and tells rapists that their actions are okay? I know I don’t. It’s time to do something about it.
Emma Fahy, Year 13
Image - India Bonnet, Year 12