Christmas crackers!
We asked our readers to send in their best Christmas jokes, and here they are...
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
He had low elf esteem.
What is a snowman’s favourite breakfast?
Ice Crispies
Why did the Christmas present wrapping factory get shut down?
It had bad elf and safety
What does the postman ride to deliver his letters on Christmas day?
Tricicle
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
What did the sea say to Santa?
Nothing - it just waved!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho, ho, ho!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree!
What do people sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
What does Adam say at Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!
Why was a snowman looking in a bag of carrots?
He was being nosey
Why was the turkey allowed to join a rock band?
It already had the drum sticks!
What do you get if you eat a bag of tinsel?
Tinselitis
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Is it going to rain, dear?
Why shouldn’t you eat sprouts?
They could be bad for your elf
Why don’t penguins have snowball fights?
It’s flipping useless!
What carol do only dogs sing?
Bark the herald angels sing
We usually have a turkey at Christmas. I don’t know why, because it’s conversations are terrible.
What did the angel say to the Christmas tree when it told her a joke?
Oh for heaven's sake!
What happens when elves have been naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
What music do elves listen to?
Wrap!
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?
What kind of motorbike does Father Christmas ride?
A Holly Davidson
What will we lose from our Christmas dinner when we leave the EU?
Brussel sprouts
A big thank you to all of our contributors!
Joseph McLellan
Megan Bowley
E. Riddle
Stanley Culyer
Owain Roberts
Aneshka Hunter
Ben Jones
Jake Standing
Caleb Laloo
Bertie Lawson
Jessica Squires
Jemma SimpsonWells
Daniel Snowdon
Luke Georgeson
Jack Hayes
Rufus Jones
Joshua Thompsett
Harry Schuetze
Madeline Clark
Max Burton
Nicholas Yoannou
James Cassidy
Emma Hills
Emily Wimbs
Lottie Evershed
Tyler Wilson
James Cassidy
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
He had low elf esteem.
What is a snowman’s favourite breakfast?
Ice Crispies
Why did the Christmas present wrapping factory get shut down?
It had bad elf and safety
What does the postman ride to deliver his letters on Christmas day?
Tricicle
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
What did the sea say to Santa?
Nothing - it just waved!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho, ho, ho!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
Hannah partridge in a pear tree!
What do people sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow
What does Adam say at Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!
Why was a snowman looking in a bag of carrots?
He was being nosey
Why was the turkey allowed to join a rock band?
It already had the drum sticks!
What do you get if you eat a bag of tinsel?
Tinselitis
What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather?
Is it going to rain, dear?
Why shouldn’t you eat sprouts?
They could be bad for your elf
Why don’t penguins have snowball fights?
It’s flipping useless!
What carol do only dogs sing?
Bark the herald angels sing
We usually have a turkey at Christmas. I don’t know why, because it’s conversations are terrible.
What did the angel say to the Christmas tree when it told her a joke?
Oh for heaven's sake!
What happens when elves have been naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
What music do elves listen to?
Wrap!
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?
What kind of motorbike does Father Christmas ride?
A Holly Davidson
What will we lose from our Christmas dinner when we leave the EU?
Brussel sprouts
A big thank you to all of our contributors!
Joseph McLellan
Megan Bowley
E. Riddle
Stanley Culyer
Owain Roberts
Aneshka Hunter
Ben Jones
Jake Standing
Caleb Laloo
Bertie Lawson
Jessica Squires
Jemma SimpsonWells
Daniel Snowdon
Luke Georgeson
Jack Hayes
Rufus Jones
Joshua Thompsett
Harry Schuetze
Madeline Clark
Max Burton
Nicholas Yoannou
James Cassidy
Emma Hills
Emily Wimbs
Lottie Evershed
Tyler Wilson
James Cassidy
